monday bloody monday

my alarm chirps. i swat it. it chirps again, i groan.

i stretch, push my cat off the top of my head and make my way to the restroom. i brush my teeth, put contacts in to reveal the vaseline smeared reality before me, and ignore the infantile whining of my dog.

i put on pants, find my flip*flops, and tie my hair up in a bun.  where are my shades, i need my shades, and place them on my face.  i get the leash, strap it around her neck and am pulled  through the front door towards freedom.

bright morning light and soft winds welcome me to the day.  i find a steady pace and begin to look around.  same mexican guy in cowboy hat watering his yellow lawn; same yippy min*pin yelping at shadows through the fence; same ugly white pleather couch sitting on the curb in front of the abandoned house.  my blind dog smacks face first into the furniture, same as every morning...

i turn the corner onto homer and begin running through my monday to*do list:  send emails; fill up gas tank; make copies of peer review for class; read chapter five; presentation at 2; presentation at 3; go to bank; go to class; watch laguna beach; sleep.

i watch delphi pee on a cactus. we continue on our way.  i turn onto miller and head back towards the house. a dog across the street barks at us, and delphi stands on her two back legs, hopping towards the sound.  i yank her leash, she never listens to me, and i get us back on route.

sharp shooting pain, peircing pain, in the corner of my big toe.  delphi is dragging me into the lawn, spinning in circles. fire in my foot, ouch pain shooting pain stabbing stabbing.

i look down and see a 5 inch peice of glass  embedded between my toenail and the skin of my left big toe.  horror, horror.  blood is spewing onto the sidewalk.  i pull out the glass and throw it in the street. 

fuck fuck fuck.

delphi poops.

fuck fuck fuck shooting pain fuck fuck fuck.

limping, i start to make my way down the block to my house, i must stop the bleeding bleeding. 

"HEY LADY!!! PICK UP AFTER YOUR DOG!!!"  a stranger yells from the corner.

i cannot concentrate.  i cannot put pressure on the left leg of my body.  bloody footprints follow me home. 

delphi wants to run the opposite direction, i have a plastic bag tucked under my arm to pick up the poop, but cannot figure out how to balance all this chaos.

"HEY LADY!!! PICK UP YOUR DOG'S POOP!!!!" the same guy is yelling, yelling...

"FUCK OFF!"  i release the pent-up frustration, thinking i should live in brooklyn, not this stupid place.  stupid fucking place.  the guy shrinks away, backing into his front door.

i make my way through the front door. i scramble.  i have no bandaids.  i cannot wear the shoes that dictate the design of the rest of my planned outfit.  chaos, chaos.  fuck fuck fuck.

***

i'm ten minutes late to teach, no peer reviews, i improv.

anxiety rules my morning...

i hate mundaze.

Comments

[cayce]

confusious say: the road to adulthood is paved with toe-stubbing implements.

[angela]

I like that it's in red.