ringworm around the collar

dear radar,

hey! meeting you at shari's last weekend was great! you made me feel special and this got me thinking about a lot of things.

for instance, it must've been hard for you, having your mamma abandon you at the farm and all. and coming to the big city and being dropped off at the pet store to find a new mommy was super scary i'm sure. but you did it anyhow, radar! you hit the kitty lottery!

i know having a foster brother is hard. buddy isn't the nicest doggy around, and boy does he smell!!! it's a good thing kitty's clean themselves, huh? otherwise you might smell like buddy, and that makes it hard for strangers to cuddle you.

and speaking of cuddling, do you remember how much i cuddled you and held you and kissed you all over your velvet black face? me too. it made me feel warm inside, like we had a connection. i also liked watching you run around in circles and chew on things. remember when you started chewing on mamma shari's computer cord and she got angry? i thought that was hilarious even though she threatened to throw you back out on the street with all the rabie infested squirrels.

a weird thing happened, dear radar, when i got home later that afternoon. my skin started to itch real bad and i got these weird circle patches all over my neck and legs. i understand you were abandoned and all, but that still doesn't make it okay for you to give me a crusty skin infection. i realize you might think that because of your first few weeks on the planet, that people don't love you and that makes it hard for you to trust. but we do love you and you can trust us. so i think you should think about that and stop giving people burning, itching skin disorders. otherwise i'll have to take matters in my own hands and take you back to the farm and never look back. but i don't wanna do that, radar. i think you're alright.

i'm not gonna cuddle you for awhile, but that doesn't mean that you're not something worth cuddling. it just means that you're narly. you have parasites that are alive and crawling around inside your skin. that makes me scared, radar. it does. so i'm not gonna visit you for awhile. i'm gonna quarantine our love and come back for more when you're not ridden with funk. afterall, having missing patches of skin is emabarrasing. especially when you teach school and your students ask you why you have weird sore things on your neck and all you can do is shrug and tell them it happened because you dared to love.

so i just wanted to write you and say thanks. thanks for loving me so much that i have holes burned into my skin. that was considerate of you.

i'll talk to you soon, radar. but not really. more like next spring when your creepy, crawly buddies are dead and gone.

your friend,

judith

Comments

[jake]

"...all you can do is shrug and tell them it happened because you dared to love."

If I had a nickel for everytime this has happened to me...

Just kidding.

No, really, it's just a joke, I swear.

[radar]

dear aunt judy,
mama says i get to come live with you. is that true? she says you wrote it on your blog. i'm just a kitten and i don't know how to read yet, but i think i love you. i'lll be over with my things later.

snuggles,
radar

p.s.
i don't mean to be rude, but i think you gave me a rash...

[radar]

dear aunt judy,
mama says i get to come live with you. is that true? she says you wrote it on your blog. i'm just a kitten and i don't know how to read yet, but i think i love you. i'lll be over with my things later.

snuggles,
radar

p.s.
i don't mean to be rude, but i think you gave me a rash...